Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Short and sweet for now

I can't believe how long it's been since I have updated my blog. Bad, bad blogger ;)

Maybe I wasn't meant to be a blogger. A lot has changed since December. Work for the most part has improved (thank you God), although we are busier than snot, which is stressful but a good stress... I love what I do, but sometimes question if I am good enough.

I dated someone for a short while. Thought the stars might have lined up but I was incorrect. Fortunately I don't think I had really invested as much as I thought, because I was not as sad as I expected to be. I was more angry. That has passed. There are times, when the anger seeps in....mostly because of the "lies" and because Peanut really liked this fellow. He was not the right one. Accepted. Moving forward. One year off. No dating. Nada. Focus on me & Peanut. Go back to school? Find the time and do it! Ok...sheesh!

I lost my grandma this spring. That, more than anything, saddens me on any given day. I think of her daily. I can't believe she isn't there anymore. I can't go to her house, sit at her table with her and chat. I can't get up at 2am with her and have cookies anymore. I fear my daughter won't remember her. She'll never have the memories I had of her. I hope that I am doing my part to foster the memories she can have with her remaining grandparents.

And my daughter. Going into the fifth grade. So hard to believe. I look back at pictures and can't believe she is already going into the fifth grade. I am the mother of a pre-teen emotional almost middle-schooler. Sigh. I got this.....right?

Anyhow, it's late, I should be asleep but am not. Thank you for taking the time if you read this. Peace out! :) <3

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