to mention a few other things that I remembered as I read through my post...
Actually I know I forgot, although I'm not sure how exactly...
#1 -- I decided to go back to school finally. I found the one online program that offered a BA in Anthropology (I know...I'm weird.)
#2 -- I found out how different people handle grieving. 2 years ago when we lost my grandma, my family was amazing. There was NEVER one ounce of backbiting or meanness. Not once. I love that about my family. Fast forward almost 2 years later...my stepdad passed away. What a mix of emotions for me. Things I won't even go into because after all, if you are following this or reading, you're certainly not paid enough to be my therapist. But wow were his daughters amazing in a not so great way. The way they have treated my mother and me...what a huge disappointment and an eye opener.
So 2 big things from the lapse in blogging...that should have been included and weren't. Mea culpa.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
It's entirely possible
that I'm late. Late to update that is. Holy crackers - a year and a half? So what's new, what's old? What's the haps yo?
I am now the mother of a partially fun, partially rude 12 year old 6th grader. Man I love her. But there are days (here recently it feels like every day) where she pushes me so hard and I am tired. I'm tired of being "the bad guy" even though I'm the one who is always there. So not fair. I'm the one who is there, even on the weekends she isn't home. It's me she calls. And it's me she treats like trash. I know she's growing up. I know she's learning to assert herself. But honestly...she also needs to learn WHEN to assert herself. The disrespect is overwhelming. And her dad is a hero. Always fun at her dad's. Although most of those weekends lately are spent at my mom's house. Go figure.
I know that he could be worse but it angers me that he is put upon a pedestal when he's not dealing with the day to day life, and has no idea how much non-fun it is to get ready for school every day, pack a lunch, go through the chores, work on handwriting, mold a little person in the hopes that she grows to be a wonderful person.
So since October 2010, what's new...well it's daunting to try and remember the last year and a half so highlights it is! It IS spring after all ;)
On the job front - I worked @ one place for almost 9 years. We lost a major contract, and people started getting letters. How "lucky" for me to be one of the first. I received my notice on Halloween, and my last day was scheduled to be the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The first time in my working life (almost 20 years) that I was unemployed and it didn't feel too great. I worried that I wouldn't find a job. I applied for tons of jobs. I finally found a position and luckily I was only out of work for a month. Amazingly blessed.
What else is new since 10-10 -- I met a nice guy. But I had this bet you see. So no dating for a year. From July 2010-June 2011 - no dating. This bet had a whole $10 riding on it. And pride. Then there's this guy. This guy I lost a bet for. And I cannot tell you how happy I am that I lost a bet for him. I still run to answer the phone, I still laugh at all of his jokes, he still makes me happy. And it's been over a year. He is great to my little person, and great to me.
And my little person....whoa are we going through some fun right now. The disrespect is overwhelming. (oh wait - I said that already! See...Overwhelming!) I'm trying really hard to figure out ways to keep my calm, and not let it get to me. I shouldn't react. Sometimes I just do. And I feel like the World's Worst Parent. Then there are those friends who have BTDT and they remind me that this is how it is...and it's all normal, and it will get better ... in like 6-8 years or so. A bright spot.
Hopefully the rest of the birthday week will see me with a nice tween who loves me and shows me as much. Thanks for reading! All 2 of you ;)
I am now the mother of a partially fun, partially rude 12 year old 6th grader. Man I love her. But there are days (here recently it feels like every day) where she pushes me so hard and I am tired. I'm tired of being "the bad guy" even though I'm the one who is always there. So not fair. I'm the one who is there, even on the weekends she isn't home. It's me she calls. And it's me she treats like trash. I know she's growing up. I know she's learning to assert herself. But honestly...she also needs to learn WHEN to assert herself. The disrespect is overwhelming. And her dad is a hero. Always fun at her dad's. Although most of those weekends lately are spent at my mom's house. Go figure.
I know that he could be worse but it angers me that he is put upon a pedestal when he's not dealing with the day to day life, and has no idea how much non-fun it is to get ready for school every day, pack a lunch, go through the chores, work on handwriting, mold a little person in the hopes that she grows to be a wonderful person.
So since October 2010, what's new...well it's daunting to try and remember the last year and a half so highlights it is! It IS spring after all ;)
On the job front - I worked @ one place for almost 9 years. We lost a major contract, and people started getting letters. How "lucky" for me to be one of the first. I received my notice on Halloween, and my last day was scheduled to be the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The first time in my working life (almost 20 years) that I was unemployed and it didn't feel too great. I worried that I wouldn't find a job. I applied for tons of jobs. I finally found a position and luckily I was only out of work for a month. Amazingly blessed.
What else is new since 10-10 -- I met a nice guy. But I had this bet you see. So no dating for a year. From July 2010-June 2011 - no dating. This bet had a whole $10 riding on it. And pride. Then there's this guy. This guy I lost a bet for. And I cannot tell you how happy I am that I lost a bet for him. I still run to answer the phone, I still laugh at all of his jokes, he still makes me happy. And it's been over a year. He is great to my little person, and great to me.
And my little person....whoa are we going through some fun right now. The disrespect is overwhelming. (oh wait - I said that already! See...Overwhelming!) I'm trying really hard to figure out ways to keep my calm, and not let it get to me. I shouldn't react. Sometimes I just do. And I feel like the World's Worst Parent. Then there are those friends who have BTDT and they remind me that this is how it is...and it's all normal, and it will get better ... in like 6-8 years or so. A bright spot.
Hopefully the rest of the birthday week will see me with a nice tween who loves me and shows me as much. Thanks for reading! All 2 of you ;)
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